My Blithering Attempt at Being a Bridesmaid

I am not good at planning. I never was. I am the one who takes orders from those detail oriented people who are better at it than I am. Dee is one of those people and to plan your own wedding might be a nightmare for everyone but for her it was a cake walk. After S’s bridezilla (S you know it :P) effect I was scared of what was going to happen at Dee’s wedding but boy was I wrong at making assumptions! She had a frigging schedule planned for the whole wedding which included some interesting videos on Hyderabad Tourism and a dummies guide to Telugu Wedding. She sounded more like a wedding planner than the bride.

Meanwhile, in my old boring life, I applied for a job (yeah I know me actually going and applying sounds too hilarious, but it just happened in one of those sugar high moments where I was all gung-ho about leaving this godforsaken place) and mentioned that I would be in the city hoping that I could meet up with the people and have an informal talk, which the recruiter mistook for my enthusiasm scheduled an interview the day after the wedding. These things only happen to me!

So there I was supposedly the bridesmaid but the thoughts going in my head were “WTF am I going to say to this guy tomorrow!” But I muddled through somehow. I had a checklist of things to be done and I was marching around shouting orders at her uncles willy-nilly and got everything outsourced in about an hour. And then came the task of buying the wedding band for the guy which was something that Dee has apparently forgotten to pick up. Now, that’s way too much responsibility for a bridesmaid, how the heck am I supposed to pick up a ring that a guy is going to wear all his life. So, I was running around from one jewelry store to another all decked up (the gult self with lotsa bangles and a big bindi, which made my mother happy :/) I finally found one quite fast even with all the bling staring at my face and my brain going “my precious!” at every third ring. Yeah I know jewelry fever catching up, but I do love me some At 78.

So with the ring in hand I thought that everything’s done but I think this would be the most misleading assumption I had ever made. And then the madness began. What’s it with gult parents and inviting everybody whom they ever know to the wedding? The poor bride and groom had to stand for almost two hours receiving “blessings” from every person who knows with her parents. I understand that they want the world to know that they are marrying off their daughter but you don’t have to call everyone. Why don’t they understand the meaning of low-key? After what seemed like a millennium the crowd finally thinned down so that the poor souls could take a break before they actually got married. At this point this is what the bride and groom were discussing, I kid you not!

Groom: Chalo shaadi karlete hai, ab ye congratulations bahut hogaya

Bride: 10 minute rest karne do mujhe, tab dekhte hai

I guess wedding are such chaotic events where things never go according to plan and we are left to improvise which we did with trying to get the poola jada in place with safety pins and gold chains; with yours truly tying the sari for the main wedding (!!); finding pelli peetalu at the very last moment. I could go on with the list but lets just say I can now appreciate the work of all those wedding planners out there. 

All in all it was fun and I wish I would never do this ever again with all my heart but alas I don't have an option and I hope the next time it would be a little less hectic and little more fun.