My Lofty Ambitions

A lot of debate has been happening around the whole ambition myth. I have been following it for quite some time and every time I read another article, I feel this sense of outrage. How is that when a guy talks about his ambitions he is lauded whereas a woman is judged critically for every step that she takes?

I am not being a feminist or a sexist in this case. I am talking about my friends and coworkers whose the first response for my PhD idea was cynicism. Their concern: Why I should do it at this point of my career where my personal life is supposed to take precedence. But when one of my male colleague talks about the same idea, they pat him on his back for his ingenuity. Why is that they have this ability to opinionated about my life choices and not his?  I should be following the societal norm of getting married, thinking about children and not about my career at this point of my life.

My parents most definitely don’t get it. They see this as an act of defiance against them. It’s similar to getting a tattoo.  They think that I am trying to get a raise out of them by being so stubborn about my goals. Their answer: “get married, do whatever you want to do with your life, it’s up to your husband but until then please don’t make any stupid life choices”. Now I have wait for the proverbial knight to save me and point me in the right direction, if he deems it appropriate.

They( I am generalizing at this point) think that the career I have right now is something that I should work on.All they can see that I am getting paid decently (I know!) and that this should make me happy. A job where I am more that able to pay my bills, buy a car, maybe a house in a long run. They don't understand when I talk about me not being satisfied with the work that I am doing. They look at me as if I am talking gibberish. If I am getting paid well then I should shut up and put out and not complain about it. Why is it a taboo to talk being able to do something that you like? Shouldn't job satisfaction be the main thing to think about when you decide to take up your career? I don't want the money (not that I am against it :), but its not my end goal). I want to live a comfortable life doing something that I love. Is it too much to ask?

And the sad part of it is that deep down I know that one of those reasons for me to get back to academia is because I don’t want my life to be ruled by a job where I cannot have a personal life. I don’t want to work in a job where I have to sacrifice the other things in my life. I know I am being a total hypocrite but the more I look at the women that are supposed to be my role models in the company, I abhor the idea of me being in their shoes. I cannot be that person where I am constantly making life choices in order to fit them around my career.

Why is it so difficult every step of the way ?