My New Old Life

So, I m finally back to where it all started. Hyderabad. It took me almost one whole day to actually get used to my folks’ place (I can no longer feel the attachment, when I think of home I picture my shitty room in Hell, or my apartment in Chennai). Everything in my room looked different. I was half in minds to throw everything out and start over decorating again. I am so restless right now; I can’t do anything that requires a part of my brain to think.

I took the whole day today doing that tearing down the whole room and re-decorating it. Now, it kinda sorta looks livable. (After my brother moved out, my parents made this room sorta their store room so all the shit that doesn’t fit anywhere in the house is moved to this room). Anyways so now it looks pretty good, I got all my posters from L (Shawshank, Crouching Tiger, Space Odyssey and Silence of the Lambs :D on my walls finally!)

I had to listen to my mom lecturing non-stop for two hours about my frivolous habit of hoarding clothes and well if you look at them you might feel the same way. I felt like that too, I mean I had four big cartons and two super size suit cases and the clothes kept coming :D

I found my old journal in all that mess. It was kinda nice to read something that I wrote six years ago and the thing is I feel the same way even now. I wrote the stuff when I was leaving roorkee and now it’s the same thing again and those posts could have been written now for all that matter. It sounded nice to know that I dint change much or maybe I just like to think that I am more or less the same person.

I kept thinking about how I have changed over the last two years and they are actually some tangible changes. I no longer dress like an environmentalist  :D. I have become more self involved (I m trying to find a least offending word for selfish) or maybe I should say self sufficient. I am obsessed with certain things and finally, I haven’t wised up about others (I don’t know when I will :’()

For now I m just trying not to make too many big moves, I just rearranged my small library :) and I m going to read as many books as possible in this one month.