My Quarantine
Yet another week passes by. It seems that time is flying by and I am lost. That’s exactly how I feel these days. I go to all the lectures, come back and do whatever work is there for the next day, watch something equally mind numbing and then sleep. This has become quite a routine to me these days. Atleast last year I had P with me attending all the classes. Now that I have taken Finance P and K are no longer with me and I think somewhere along the line we lost the ability to be nice to each other for longer periods of time. We just exchange pleasantries and try to make some small talk and then move on.
You know when you think about it, however much you try to be with people who don’t think like you or atleast have similar taste, you cant actually take the whole friendship for granted in a long run. Because after a point of time you just don’t have the patience to maintain the charade. I think that’s what has happened to us, we no longer are trying to please each other or go out of our way to make the other person feel uncomfortable.
This got me thinking, can I never be friends with people who don’t think like me or act like me. I mean I am not some weirdo or something but very petty things about people put me off and I don’t want to even socialize because I know in a long haul its not worth it. So, I go back to my cave quite literally. I had this discussion with S and V quite a few times and every single time we have come to the same conclusion. We are unsociable, or rather we prefer solitude to the platitude of being in a “group”.
I mean shouldn’t we be out there enjoying our 20s? I know a cliché again. But how much ever I may try I cannot. I simply cannot. The other day we had our insti party. So, as usual the three of us got dressed and were fashionably late and in the process missed 3.4’s performance (Not that I care much about our insti “band” but still I wouldn’t mind checking their lame attempt). And yeah just so you know I have given up this fad of whole-insti-party-getting-wasted. I was cold sober at 2 o’clock in the morning watching the drunken stupid acts of people around. I was disgusted I know I am being a hypocrite but I couldn’t stand the whole atmosphere of self-indulgence. Every one of them try to out do the other by doing stupider things and with two drunken chics to take care of I was not actually in best of my moods.
I couldn’t stand it one bit. I had a huge shouting match with P. I still cannot believe I did that. I was just frustrated with the whole business of self-deprecation. I think I am becoming too old for this shit. I m getting bored of the same old crisis that they currently going through. I have become realistic or maybe too fatalistic these days that I don’t care or I am deluding myself that thinking about such things would only make you sadder. So, I stopped thinking about things that are no longer in my hands. Total dependence on fate. If you cant change things that are going to happen then you don’t have to worry about them. You worry about the-now rather than the indefinable tomorrow.
Would that help me? I honestly don’t know but thinking and obsessing has gotten me nowhere so I m stopping myself from getting migraines from over active imagination and limiting myself. Hope it works.
You know when you think about it, however much you try to be with people who don’t think like you or atleast have similar taste, you cant actually take the whole friendship for granted in a long run. Because after a point of time you just don’t have the patience to maintain the charade. I think that’s what has happened to us, we no longer are trying to please each other or go out of our way to make the other person feel uncomfortable.
This got me thinking, can I never be friends with people who don’t think like me or act like me. I mean I am not some weirdo or something but very petty things about people put me off and I don’t want to even socialize because I know in a long haul its not worth it. So, I go back to my cave quite literally. I had this discussion with S and V quite a few times and every single time we have come to the same conclusion. We are unsociable, or rather we prefer solitude to the platitude of being in a “group”.
I mean shouldn’t we be out there enjoying our 20s? I know a cliché again. But how much ever I may try I cannot. I simply cannot. The other day we had our insti party. So, as usual the three of us got dressed and were fashionably late and in the process missed 3.4’s performance (Not that I care much about our insti “band” but still I wouldn’t mind checking their lame attempt). And yeah just so you know I have given up this fad of whole-insti-party-getting-wasted. I was cold sober at 2 o’clock in the morning watching the drunken stupid acts of people around. I was disgusted I know I am being a hypocrite but I couldn’t stand the whole atmosphere of self-indulgence. Every one of them try to out do the other by doing stupider things and with two drunken chics to take care of I was not actually in best of my moods.
I couldn’t stand it one bit. I had a huge shouting match with P. I still cannot believe I did that. I was just frustrated with the whole business of self-deprecation. I think I am becoming too old for this shit. I m getting bored of the same old crisis that they currently going through. I have become realistic or maybe too fatalistic these days that I don’t care or I am deluding myself that thinking about such things would only make you sadder. So, I stopped thinking about things that are no longer in my hands. Total dependence on fate. If you cant change things that are going to happen then you don’t have to worry about them. You worry about the-now rather than the indefinable tomorrow.
Would that help me? I honestly don’t know but thinking and obsessing has gotten me nowhere so I m stopping myself from getting migraines from over active imagination and limiting myself. Hope it works.
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