My Fifteen More Minutes of Sleep
Me: Oh God, what is that sound? Am I dying, is this the ambulance sound?
Sleep: It’s the goddamn cell phone alarm! WHERE the fuck is the phone! Throw it out of the window but dont open your eyes, You will miss the good part of the dream :( You cant miss your dream-happily-ever-after again?!!@$#@
Me: No, it’s beeping because I need to wake up.
Sleep: Wake up? No. Why wake up when you can drift back to dreamland when you are actually travelling the world eat-pray-love style? Doesn't that sound more appealing than reentering this soul crushing, nightmare world you call reality? Here’s the dream-plot: You went and slapped the fake Miranda Priestley and quit your job. Now, you are in Halong Bay, the sea looks so blue, you just got the latest Murakami in your hand; they are playing the Civil Wars in the background.
Sleep: That would be awesome! How could real life be more important than this?
Me: I don’t remember, but I have this feeling it’s important
Sleep: It can’t be as important as the novel you are reading, how would it end? Come back into the dream and finish the damn novel
Me: That vacation isn’t real.
Sleep: If you don’t go back to sleep, you’ll be cranky and homicidal. You’ll probably sip green tea and stare at your laptop the whole day and pick up a fight with someone and shout at them. That’s what happens to people who don’t get enough sleep; they get crazy. You don’t want a repeat that incident that shall not be named that happened in Lucknow, do you?
Me: Omg, that’s so true! I should sleep some more
Sleep: That was easy :D
Me: Mmmm…
Sleep: Hey, hear that? It’s footsteps outside your door; your roommate is bustling around fully awake, and there’s nothing more terrible than seeing RFH right after you wake up, forced to talk to her seconds after regaining consciousness from your wonderful dream. These gibbering puppets, they’ll demand your attention as soon as you step outside your door!
Me: You’re right, but I’ll have to see them eventually. Might as well get it over with now.
Sleep: Wait! You don’t have any meetings in the morning you have at least 5 more minutes for your dream, you know you want to ;)
Me: I wish I could, but I have to wake up.
Sleep: Think of the articles you read on the internet about healthy sleep habits. People your age need 8 hours of quality sleep each night. That’s an inarguable scientific fact.
Me: No, I remember now; I’m supposed to call the client, and I need to wake up now so I can shower.
Sleep: Why not sleep for ten more minutes, shower in ten minutes, and then you’ll still have fifteen minutes to go to office.
Me: Oh, I know your tricks, Sleep, you trickster, you time thief! You would lure me in with ten minutes, and then I’d wake up at 2:30 p.m., groggy from another binge trying to sound sick while I finally call in for yet another fake-sick leave
Sleep: But still, you want that ten minutes. You can’t help yourself. Reality is the enemy. You feel it in your bones, and you can’t remember anything good about being awake.
Me: No, I want to wake up…
Sleep: Give in!
Me: …no…I won’t…go back…
Sleep: Oh look, the sun is setting in your dream, get your camera! Go! Now! Quick!
Me: Okay!
[Time passes.]
Me: Wait, did I fall asleep for a second? How much time passed?
Sleep: It’s 4:30 p.m.! You slept for fifteen hours, loser!
Me: No!
Sleep: Mwahahaha! You’re so weak! If you were in Karate kid, the movie would have been 10 minutes long!
Me: Why are you so mean to me :( ?
Song that made me write this post:
Sleep: It’s the goddamn cell phone alarm! WHERE the fuck is the phone! Throw it out of the window but dont open your eyes, You will miss the good part of the dream :( You cant miss your dream-happily-ever-after again?!!@$#@
Me: No, it’s beeping because I need to wake up.
Sleep: Wake up? No. Why wake up when you can drift back to dreamland when you are actually travelling the world eat-pray-love style? Doesn't that sound more appealing than reentering this soul crushing, nightmare world you call reality? Here’s the dream-plot: You went and slapped the fake Miranda Priestley and quit your job. Now, you are in Halong Bay, the sea looks so blue, you just got the latest Murakami in your hand; they are playing the Civil Wars in the background.
Sleep: That would be awesome! How could real life be more important than this?
Me: I don’t remember, but I have this feeling it’s important
Sleep: It can’t be as important as the novel you are reading, how would it end? Come back into the dream and finish the damn novel
Me: That vacation isn’t real.
Sleep: If you don’t go back to sleep, you’ll be cranky and homicidal. You’ll probably sip green tea and stare at your laptop the whole day and pick up a fight with someone and shout at them. That’s what happens to people who don’t get enough sleep; they get crazy. You don’t want a repeat that incident that shall not be named that happened in Lucknow, do you?
Me: Omg, that’s so true! I should sleep some more
Sleep: That was easy :D
Me: Mmmm…
Sleep: Hey, hear that? It’s footsteps outside your door; your roommate is bustling around fully awake, and there’s nothing more terrible than seeing RFH right after you wake up, forced to talk to her seconds after regaining consciousness from your wonderful dream. These gibbering puppets, they’ll demand your attention as soon as you step outside your door!
Me: You’re right, but I’ll have to see them eventually. Might as well get it over with now.
Sleep: Wait! You don’t have any meetings in the morning you have at least 5 more minutes for your dream, you know you want to ;)
Me: I wish I could, but I have to wake up.
Sleep: Think of the articles you read on the internet about healthy sleep habits. People your age need 8 hours of quality sleep each night. That’s an inarguable scientific fact.
Me: No, I remember now; I’m supposed to call the client, and I need to wake up now so I can shower.
Sleep: Why not sleep for ten more minutes, shower in ten minutes, and then you’ll still have fifteen minutes to go to office.
Me: Oh, I know your tricks, Sleep, you trickster, you time thief! You would lure me in with ten minutes, and then I’d wake up at 2:30 p.m., groggy from another binge trying to sound sick while I finally call in for yet another fake-sick leave
Sleep: But still, you want that ten minutes. You can’t help yourself. Reality is the enemy. You feel it in your bones, and you can’t remember anything good about being awake.
Me: No, I want to wake up…
Sleep: Give in!
Me: …no…I won’t…go back…
Sleep: Oh look, the sun is setting in your dream, get your camera! Go! Now! Quick!
Me: Okay!
[Time passes.]
Me: Wait, did I fall asleep for a second? How much time passed?
Sleep: It’s 4:30 p.m.! You slept for fifteen hours, loser!
Me: No!
Sleep: Mwahahaha! You’re so weak! If you were in Karate kid, the movie would have been 10 minutes long!
Me: Why are you so mean to me :( ?
Song that made me write this post:
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