My Cousin's Wedding
I have been writing a lot these days, the one reason I could think of, for this prolific streak would be avoiding change. Change of place, of friends and everything. This is one is safer and less risk prone if you may. I rant and rave and I feel good about this whole cathartic process. It’s like an open source shrink appointment.
This post I dedicate to the final chapter or the conclusion of the whole mess that has been happening for the past few months. My cousin’s wedding. It was yesterday, so I am back home after almost being awake for 48 hours straight, dealing with all those last minute problems like the make-up ladies, the saree tying disasters, the after-wedding details etc.
A few days ago, I was snooping around my brother’s fb profile (okay, I do that sometimes, you know just to check up on him, he is my baby brother!!). I found this link for some photographer, he turned out to be one that specializes in weddings. I loved the way he took all those candid shots. They is something very real about these pictures, they don’t look like those heavy wedding albums that people generally get out of their closets when you visit them. You know the ones that I am talking about!The ones where the bride and the groom are made to stand in all those weird poses. They photo shop the lot with some really bright background and viola your album is ready.
I loved his work and kind of got inspired. I have been interested in photography lately and the last trip with S and Motu only confirmed this. I wanted to buy a DSLR asap. But I made do with the point and shoot one and got to work as soon as I reached my cousin’s place. I wanted to capture all those candid moments.
I missed the Sangeet, the day before. No Mehndi :(. The last gult wedding that I attended was probably 8 years ago. I don’t remember any of the customs so I was interested to know about all those arcane traditions. My grandma obliged and she started telling me in details of each and every one of them. I couldn’t understand them as in why do they do all these things.
There is this thing where the bride’s nails are supposed to be cut by a barber before she goes out of the house on the wedding day. The wedding was at 10 in the morning so the barber had to come at around 3 30 AM to do the manicure/pedicure session. I couldn’t understand the significance of it, but apparently this was a very important step. Did you know that women are not allowed to cut their nails with knives or whatever instruments they had before nail-cutters in those days. They can chew them off but can never use anything to cut before marriage. How weird is that!
The next thing was that the veil between the bride and groom is supposed to be held there by the laundry men. And the list goes on. My grandma is very accommodative about the whole process though. Whichever of these customs are plausible in the current situation, we were going to follow them and the others are too old fashioned for us.
We had to go there to the venue at around 6 in the morning because we had to get ready well before the muhurat. I had to wear a saree which for the life of me can’t be done without at least two people helping me. And, I am just a bridesmaid :). Think of the bride's plight! So, I was getting ready while overlooking my cousin’s make-up ministrations.
And on top of it I had to be the unofficial photographer, so I got ready in like half an hour (with my mom’s help, she told me later that I regressed into a 10 year old arguing with her about her saree tying skills :)). I managed to get a few shots of the bride getting ready. They look very pretty; you know the natural look where you see the progress of the beautiful bride in the kanchivaram saree.
With all that under control, I had to get into the crowd, you know do all the mingling and talking to random strangers and answer their innocuous yet strangely private questions about my life. I was introduced to every one of them by my parents, uncles, aunts, grand-parents. At one point, my mom introduced me to a marriage broker who quickly ranted off prospective grooms as if he knew the whole list by heart. I knew that this event would be the death of me but I did not expect such a response.
I did thoroughly enjoy the whole thing barring those meetings. I was taking pictures the whole time. I did not get great pictures but I am happy that I was not there in ground-zero all the time and get introduced to people left right and center.
I loved the whole traditional experience though. I am not overly religious but these traditions mean something and its feels nice to kind of hold on to them. The whole talambralu process where my cousin was so giddy with excitement was a great example. You dont know why they do it, but its fun.
It’s nice to see the whole family there, talking to all my long lost cousins as if were best friends. It’s a great thing, family and I kind of miss the whole noisy, intrusive huge gathering. I am not saying that I would thrive in such an atmosphere every day but I don’t mind it once in a while.
It’s like an end of an era though. We have all grown up and this is the first sign that we are not kids anymore. It’s nice some times, to take all these big decisions but I am still very much dependent on my parents. I need to talk to them every day; I still don’t think I am very grown up. I act and think like one most of the time but when push comes to shove I need them. This wedding has kind of made me realize a lot of things about me and my family.
I hope that all goes well with my cousin, I wish her all the very best.
P.S Some of the pictures I took
This post I dedicate to the final chapter or the conclusion of the whole mess that has been happening for the past few months. My cousin’s wedding. It was yesterday, so I am back home after almost being awake for 48 hours straight, dealing with all those last minute problems like the make-up ladies, the saree tying disasters, the after-wedding details etc.
A few days ago, I was snooping around my brother’s fb profile (okay, I do that sometimes, you know just to check up on him, he is my baby brother!!). I found this link for some photographer, he turned out to be one that specializes in weddings. I loved the way he took all those candid shots. They is something very real about these pictures, they don’t look like those heavy wedding albums that people generally get out of their closets when you visit them. You know the ones that I am talking about!The ones where the bride and the groom are made to stand in all those weird poses. They photo shop the lot with some really bright background and viola your album is ready.
I loved his work and kind of got inspired. I have been interested in photography lately and the last trip with S and Motu only confirmed this. I wanted to buy a DSLR asap. But I made do with the point and shoot one and got to work as soon as I reached my cousin’s place. I wanted to capture all those candid moments.
I missed the Sangeet, the day before. No Mehndi :(. The last gult wedding that I attended was probably 8 years ago. I don’t remember any of the customs so I was interested to know about all those arcane traditions. My grandma obliged and she started telling me in details of each and every one of them. I couldn’t understand them as in why do they do all these things.
There is this thing where the bride’s nails are supposed to be cut by a barber before she goes out of the house on the wedding day. The wedding was at 10 in the morning so the barber had to come at around 3 30 AM to do the manicure/pedicure session. I couldn’t understand the significance of it, but apparently this was a very important step. Did you know that women are not allowed to cut their nails with knives or whatever instruments they had before nail-cutters in those days. They can chew them off but can never use anything to cut before marriage. How weird is that!
The next thing was that the veil between the bride and groom is supposed to be held there by the laundry men. And the list goes on. My grandma is very accommodative about the whole process though. Whichever of these customs are plausible in the current situation, we were going to follow them and the others are too old fashioned for us.
We had to go there to the venue at around 6 in the morning because we had to get ready well before the muhurat. I had to wear a saree which for the life of me can’t be done without at least two people helping me. And, I am just a bridesmaid :). Think of the bride's plight! So, I was getting ready while overlooking my cousin’s make-up ministrations.
And on top of it I had to be the unofficial photographer, so I got ready in like half an hour (with my mom’s help, she told me later that I regressed into a 10 year old arguing with her about her saree tying skills :)). I managed to get a few shots of the bride getting ready. They look very pretty; you know the natural look where you see the progress of the beautiful bride in the kanchivaram saree.
With all that under control, I had to get into the crowd, you know do all the mingling and talking to random strangers and answer their innocuous yet strangely private questions about my life. I was introduced to every one of them by my parents, uncles, aunts, grand-parents. At one point, my mom introduced me to a marriage broker who quickly ranted off prospective grooms as if he knew the whole list by heart. I knew that this event would be the death of me but I did not expect such a response.
I did thoroughly enjoy the whole thing barring those meetings. I was taking pictures the whole time. I did not get great pictures but I am happy that I was not there in ground-zero all the time and get introduced to people left right and center.
I loved the whole traditional experience though. I am not overly religious but these traditions mean something and its feels nice to kind of hold on to them. The whole talambralu process where my cousin was so giddy with excitement was a great example. You dont know why they do it, but its fun.
It’s nice to see the whole family there, talking to all my long lost cousins as if were best friends. It’s a great thing, family and I kind of miss the whole noisy, intrusive huge gathering. I am not saying that I would thrive in such an atmosphere every day but I don’t mind it once in a while.
It’s like an end of an era though. We have all grown up and this is the first sign that we are not kids anymore. It’s nice some times, to take all these big decisions but I am still very much dependent on my parents. I need to talk to them every day; I still don’t think I am very grown up. I act and think like one most of the time but when push comes to shove I need them. This wedding has kind of made me realize a lot of things about me and my family.
I hope that all goes well with my cousin, I wish her all the very best.
P.S Some of the pictures I took
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| Mehndi Runs |
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| The Venue |
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| New Traditions! |
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| Jeelakarra Bellam |
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| Red Carpet Entrance |
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| Games they play! |
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| Band Baja Baraat |
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| Talambralu, the best part of a gult wedding |
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