Chronicles of Madras I

for those very few people who try to glance through my blog thanks a lot for all the support ...this time it took me almost a month to come up with a post and for once it was not because i had no material but i had no time to write( believe me for once)..so finally i ve written this one for about 20 days so if you feel that its totally random and irrelevant ....it sure is :D

It was on 31st, july that I was on my way here into maddu land from hyd and i had the best possible welcome from the city …a huge downpour and a cancelled train. hitch-hiking reinvented at 6 in the morning with a ton of luggage...those were the best times :D
I came to join in a hostel, totally drenched in rain and found out that I had to share a room with three others. This might as well be one of the worst days of my life. Here I was at home for almost 2 months doing nothing and all off sudden I was on my own working!!( not that this thing is new to me or anything of that sort but still Roorkee is different for a lot of reasons).

I was with two other girls from The Company( not naming it coz I cant call it names here we have Big brother monitoring our computers 24X7 we cant chat...those dumb asses blocked all the sites that I browse so I m basically trying to read all the articles in uncyclopedia…which btw is awesome) in a hostel which somehow takes in only those people who have all sorts of psychological problems 20 days and i ve heard two stories which sounded more like movies than real life...thses places shows life in a totally different kaleidoscope that you dont even know how to react to those situations.

first day i went to the office with strict instructions from my grandmother not to sign any papers before 10...some astrological timing or sth like that...i filled up all the forms without signing them....we were given a big book full of them...it appeared as if I was entering some area 51 or something like that. It still feels that way with all those access cards. The batch was about 40 people…and I get the feeling I was in a room full of fucking phonies( i have been rereading catcher again so i guess its acceptable)...i went back to my hostel..absolutely nothing to do…called up all my friends till I had no more balance in my phone. The only thing that was good in that day was reading H2G2( its my Bible for now and yeah N i beg to differ on this one coz the circumstances are so good that i like this book now) and i bought Dilbert just to all those articles, now with my added experience working in some office for some dumb boss.

The 2nd day was even worse. Fucking presentations all day long. policy, HR crap and everything you absolutely don’t need to know. End of the day we met our trainer, this was the best part of the day..it was SATC's Stanford right infront of us. For once I was laughing out loud( I m not homophobic let me make things clear I don’t have any problem with that)..he keeps on calling my name over and over again for dramatic effect or whatever it was...it was the lamest thing ever. but he sure was the court jester and i was happy we had one. he comes by and cracks such lame ass jokes all the time its a comic relief for us.

The third day we had our classes going on from morning till evening. They covered almost everything they can remember about computers which is absolutely not useful for us now. So there went by another day with nothing much happening other than some lame guys coming and talking about an even lamer topic.

Weekend went by as fast as it came. I spent almost all the time roaming around in spencer's which reminded me of Palika. i cannot believe that i was feeling nostalgic about my delhi soujourns these days its so easy to get all sentimental maybe the city had its effect on me. the people here are so helpful that if ask them for directions they ll start telling about its history..they sure are chatty

So here i was waiting for another weekend trying not to loose myself in all the hysteria.
yet another manic monday....same old routine( i got used to it so fast that i surprised myself with my adjusting skills if you can call them that)...we were taught all about sql in 4 days..concentrated training sounds more like concentrated ghettos for jews. everyday we come by punch in the numbers and start working ....this is something i dreaded for years and here i was working all day.. some times it feels natural which freaks me out..coz i dont want to be in this job forever. people here are so serious about what they do i always feel like an outsider...this feeling never leaves me whatever i do.

The training sessions are more grilling than those army camps not in the literal sense but we have a two minute silence( which reminds me of the giggle loop and i cant stop laughing) and a thought for the day( its true!! the last time i did this was in 7th grade and even then i thought i was too old for such morality crap) training went by for the whole week with more tests it almost feels like i m in my 12th preparing for JEE but here i have no intention of getting even a respectable score. C to D works and thats enough for now.

Yet another weekend and this time for a change i went to IITM. Dee came from blore so i finally visited this place after a long awaited 4 years. nostalgia hit me so fast..i couldnt believe myself...the day i left roorkee i felt nothing and here i was almost 3 months later still not ready to give up that life...the rooms the cycles all of them reminded me of a much simpler life which i so soon forgot and settled down...its been ages that i saw a movie on my comp...that life seems so far and so unreal.

Time is running past me and all i can do is try to catch up with it...it may take me quite some time before that happens. life suddenly lost all its meaning for me it has become more mechanical than real. i thought i wouldnt be free in hyderabad so i came to chennai. but i dont know what was the freedom i was running for...cant answer this question.... maybe i am free in the actual sense of the word. Freedom is so relative when i think about it..am i doing the things that i wanted to do....i dont think so...all i m trying to do is to fit in a role which no longer holds any significance to me but for the sake of the people i am living with.... i guess i have to do that. i dont even have the time to think about all these things so i guess thats a good thing.because the longer I ponder on these kind of questions the more lost I feel.
All the phonies around some times makes things harder but its an occupational hazard and we have to face themwith those fake smiles and fake small talks all our life .
I dreaded living in Chennai more than my job but now i like this place. Its much better than Hyderabad and this i m quite sure. i have settled down finally and enjoying myself...but still there is something missing i dunno what it is.... i cant even define it...something i expected to find here but now i cant even remember remotely what it was....but i guess here starts a new phase and its not as bad as i have imagined it...thats one good thing about being pessimistic you can never be dissapointed.
Here ends my story for now, untill the next post
cheerio!
P.S i cant post comments coz big brother blocked the blog page